Stop Lobbying Your Team and Start Leading the Project with Myra Hall
No More Leadership BS
Stop Lobbying Your Team and Start Leading the Project with Myra Hall
January 21, 2026
Leadership isn't about making everyone happy before you make a move—it's about having the backbone to present the vision, the humility to refine it with the right people at the right time, and the confidence to take ownership when things don't go perfectly. Stop lobbying. Start leading.
Stop Lobbying Your Team Before You Lead Them

Ever found yourself running around to individual team members before the big meeting, testing the waters, gathering "input," and basically begging for buy-in? Yeah, that's not leadership—that's lobbying. And it's killing your projects before they even start. This episode tackles a question from a recent Project Management Institute conference: Should you flip the traditional two-state stakeholder strategy on its head? Spoiler alert: probably not, but the why behind it will change how you think about confidence, competence, and what it really means to lead.

The Speed Trap—Why Big Fish Come First

The traditional approach exists for a reason: efficiency. Present to major stakeholders first, get the green light on the big picture, then go to smaller groups to work out the details. Flip it around and you're stuck in an endless loop of revisions, accommodations, and the dreaded "that's not how I understood it" from the C-suite after you've already done all the work. Major stakeholders care about the project—the what and the why. Your teams care about the plan—the how and the when. Don't confuse the two or you'll be starting over more times than you can count. Speed to finish is a fundamental principle in project management, and going to small groups first violates that principle by forcing you to repeat minutiae over and over while the big picture remains unapproved and unfunded.

Lobbying Is Not Leading—It's Lack of Confidence

Here's the uncomfortable truth: if you're meeting with small groups before the big presentation because you need to "build support," you're not gathering input—you're lobbying. And lobbying screams one thing: you don't believe in your own idea enough to stand behind it. Confidence isn't born from consensus; it's built one decision at a time. You perform first, then you earn the confidence nugget. Going to small groups before major stakeholders often signals you're trying to shore up your own insecurity rather than genuinely seeking the best path forward. Each small group will ask for accommodations, considerations, and changes—turning your project into a tit-for-tat negotiation before you even know if leadership will approve it. That's not collaboration; that's trying to gain confidence from others instead of standing on your own vision.

When Small Groups Work—After, Not Before

Once major stakeholders approve the skeleton of your project, that's when small groups become invaluable. They don't need to weigh in on whether the project should exist—they need to figure out how their piece fits into the bigger picture. Give them the box, let them fill it. This is where real collaboration happens: teams take ownership of their portion, ask the questions that refine the plan, and help you identify gaps you couldn't see from 30,000 feet. But this only works if the big picture is already blessed and funded. The hosts share real-world examples of rolling out major organizational changes by presenting the solid skeleton first, then meeting with individual groups to answer questions and refine details—but never to determine whether the change should happen. When you involve teams at the right stage, they get to own their piece of the execution, which creates buy-in through participation rather than through lobbying.

Culture Check—The Meeting After the Meeting

If you've got people lobbying before meetings or griping in parking lots after decisions are made, you don't have a process problem—you've got a culture problem. Healthy organizations have conversations in the daylight, whether that's a board meeting, staff huddle, or all-hands call. The "meeting before the meeting" and the "meeting after the meeting" are both symptoms of broken trust and weak relationships. Build a culture where people can speak up during the actual meeting, then move forward together once the vote is taken. Leaders need to create environments where staff feel heard and valued, but that doesn't mean every decision requires unanimous agreement. It means building strong enough relationships that people can debate openly, contribute honestly, and then commit to the decision even when it's not their first choice. When the vote is taken, the vote is taken—no parking lot complaining, no revisiting at the next meeting.

The Bottom Line: Projects need big-picture buy-in before small-group refinement. Confidence doesn't come from lobbying—it comes from having the guts to present your idea and stand behind it. Build relationships strong enough that people can debate in real-time, not in hallways. And remember: major stakeholders sign off on the project, teams own the plan. Keep those lanes straight and you'll stop spinning your wheels.

Tune In For:

 
Leadership isn't about making everyone happy before you make a move—it's about having the backbone to present the vision, the humility to refine it with the right people at the right time, and the confidence to take ownership when things don't go perfectly. Stop lobbying. Start leading.

Have questions,  suggestions or just a great story to tell about some Leadership BS you have experienced? Let us know by emailing us 

Today's Featured Coach - 

  • Myra Hall - Individual and Team Coaching, Midlife Mentoring- Helping you get excited about life again as you overcome the things that keep you from living and loving a life that counts. - Owner/Founder Waypoint Coaching Group Reach Myra at [email protected] or 765-623-9711

The rest of the gang: